I am a lady who has indulged in a few too many Christmas chocolates (and who has used a knee injury as an excuse for not moving for, well, a certain amount of time). Therefore, I am carrying a little holiday chub, a flubbery little gift from Santa (courtesy of Cadburys). The Husband and I are going out for a swanky meal next week and, in honour of the children free swankiness I have borrowed a beautiful dress, a dress that fits to my every curve and enhances everything. Unfortunately, right now I have many curves, none of which need enhancing.

Dilemma, yes? No. Because I have the Shred, the workout DVD of the rich (and thin) and famous. It features stupid Jillian fit body parading you through a series of hard core exercises, coupled up with smug encouragements (pain is fear leaving the body, don't you know?) While I struggle through a stomach crunch, a reverse crunch and many bicycle crunches she prances round like a lephrachaun with her team of toned 'helpers' basically mocking me for being a chocolate loving cripple. I hate Jillian. A lot. And, for the record, I hate jumping jacks. In fact, I was quite happy laying on the sofa, watching Greys Anatomy munching Celebrations. Maybe it's time to buy a bigger dress...